No More Mr. Nice Guy

“A covert contract is a deal only one person knows they are making.”

This is the book's most useful diagnostic: resentment often reveals an unspoken bargain.

“Being nice is not the same as being honest.”

The page works when it separates warmth from self-erasure.

“Approval addiction turns ordinary requests into performances.”

Trying to be impossible to reject creates pressure, not intimacy.

“Boundaries are cleaner than resentment.”

A direct no is usually kinder than a yes that quietly invoices the other person.

“Recovery means becoming integrated, not becoming harsh.”

The goal is not cruelty or dominance. It is congruence.