For first-time dadsAdrian Kulp2018
The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook
She carries the baby. You can carry nearly everything else, one month at a time, from the first appointment to the first weeks at home.
1st trimester2nd trimester3rd trimester4th trimester
The core idea
Adrian Kulp is a father of three and the writer behind the Dad or Alive blog. This handbook, published by Rockridge Press in 2018, is for first-time fathers who want to be useful during the pregnancy instead of watching from the side. It follows the pregnancy one month at a time across the three trimesters, saying what is happening with the baby and with mom, and which milestones are coming up. Along the way it covers questions to ask at appointments, building a birth plan, money, and keeping the relationship strong with shared goals such as a pregnancy announcement or a trip before the baby arrives. Checklists for each trimester, the hospital bag and the baby registry sit beside a section on the fourth trimester, the first months at home. The tone is light and practical, drawn from Kulp's own years as a once clueless dad.
The title is the argument. A lot of first-time fathers wait for the birth to start being a dad, and spend nine months as a nervous passenger. Kulp's handbook asks for something simpler: know what month it is, know what's coming, and do the next useful thing.
It is a practical book rather than a medical one. The facts about the baby and about her body come from her midwife or doctor. What the book gives a dad is a running order, a few good questions, and a lot of jobs he can quietly take off her plate.
HourLife's comparison of two ways a dad can spend the pregnancy.
Follow along
Month by month through each trimester: what is going on with the baby and with mom, and the milestones coming up next.
Stay close
Shared goals, like how you announce it or a trip before the baby arrives, so the pregnancy is more than a to-do list.
Get ready
The birth plan, the money, the registry, the hospital bag, and on into the fourth trimester, from bottles to bonding.
Interactive · the dad's month planner
Enter the due date, the weeks along, or the baby's birthday. The planner finds the month, says in plain words what tends to be going on, and gives you a checklist for the trimester, grouped like the book's own. Tick things off as you go.
The date her midwife or doctor gave you. Due dates are estimates; only a few babies arrive on the day.
Whole weeks, as her care team counts them (1 to 42).
Opens the fourth trimester: the first twelve weeks at home.
Call her midwife, doctor or maternity unit straight away if she has any of these, and your local emergency number if she is very unwell or you can't reach them:
Her team's own list comes first. Ask them for it and save their number.
HourLife's planner, built on the month-by-month shape of the book. The notes and checklists are ours, not the author's, and they are general. They are not medical advice and no substitute for her midwife or doctor. If the pregnancy doesn't go the way you hoped, this can wait; lean on her care team. Everything you enter stays in this browser.
Where you are
First trimester
Your focus:
Concept anatomy
The book runs in order, the way the pregnancy does. Here is the shape of it: three trimesters split into months, and then the weeks at home that most pregnancy books stop short of.
Each stop covers the baby's development and the changes she may be going through.
What is coming up next, so nothing arrives as a surprise.
Things to raise with the doctor, so the dad takes part in the appointments.
For each trimester, plus the hospital bag, the baby registry and the appointments after the birth.
Community insights
HourLife takeaway
The title is the argument. Kulp writes for the dad who wants to be a teammate, not a spectator. He asks partners to show up for the appointments, the chores and the planning now, rather than waiting for the birth to start being a father.
HourLife takeaway
The book is laid out month by month inside each trimester. Each stop says what is going on with the baby and with mom, and what is coming next. Forty weeks is too long to hold in your head, but one month is not.
HourLife takeaway
Kulp gives dads questions to ask the doctor, because sitting in the corner of the room teaches you very little. Asking makes you part of the care team's conversation, and it takes some of the remembering off your partner.
HourLife takeaway
The practical support is ordinary: cooking, errands, chores, and getting the house ready. None of it is heroic. Done every week, it is what makes a partner feel looked after.
HourLife takeaway
The book suggests shared goals for the two of you, such as how you will announce the news or a relaxing trip before the baby comes. A pregnancy can turn into one long to-do list. A few good plans keep it feeling like something you are building together.
HourLife takeaway
Kulp walks dads through helping to design a birth plan. Knowing what she wants lets you speak up for her when she is busy with labour. Births rarely go exactly to plan, and the midwife or doctor makes the safety calls on the day.
HourLife takeaway
The book carries checklists for each trimester, the hospital bag and the baby registry. Working through them in the quieter months means the last weeks are about her, not about hunting for the car seat.
HourLife takeaway
Kulp covers the fourth trimester, the first months at home, as part of the same story. Feeding, sleep, bonding with the baby and caring for a partner who is still recovering all happen in those weeks, and a dad who prepared for them is far more use.
HourLife takeaway
Much of the book is told with humour, from cravings to his own clumsy moments as a first-time father. The point under the jokes is that you will not know everything, and you don't need to. Turning up, asking and laughing at yourself goes a long way.
Action steps
Ask your partner for the dates of her upcoming prenatal appointments and scans. Add them to your own calendar with an alert the day before, and clear your work diary for the ones you can make.
Make one note on both your phones called Questions for the midwife or doctor. Add to it whenever something comes up, and bring it to the next appointment.
Pick one shared goal for the next month: how you will tell family, a weekend away, or a nursery you build together. Put a date on it.
Sit down for half an hour and write what matters most to her on the day: who is there, pain relief preferences, what you should speak up about. Take it to the midwife or doctor to talk through.
Several weeks before the due date, pack the hospital bag with her and fit the car seat in the car. Practise taking it in and out once, so the first time is not at the hospital door.
At the start of each month, spend ten minutes together going over what is coming up: appointments, changes she may feel, and the jobs on your list.
Each evening, do one thing she would otherwise have done: a meal, a shop, the laundry, a phone call. Don't wait to be asked.
Once a week, ask how she is feeling about the pregnancy, not only her body. Listen to the end before you offer to fix anything.
Keep one thing each week that keeps you steady, such as a run, sleep, or a call with a friend who is already a dad. If you feel low or anxious for weeks, talk to your own doctor.
You can't carry the baby. You can carry nearly everything else.HourLife note after Adrian Kulp
Pick setup actions and daily habits from We're Pregnant!: The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook, choose a start date, and download a printable checklist with real calendar pages.
Adrian Kulp is a father of three and the writer behind the Dad or Alive blog. This handbook, published by Rockridge Press in 2018, is for first-time fathers who want to be useful during the pregnancy instead of watching from the side. It follows the pregnancy one month at a time across the three trimesters, saying what is happening with the baby and with mom, and which milestones are coming up. Along the way it...
HourLife’s key takeaways include: Pregnancy is something you do together, even though only one of you carries the baby. Take it one month at a time and you always know what the next job is. Go to the appointments, and bring your own questions.
It's a strong pick for readers exploring Conscious Parenting, Love & Relationships, and Raising Good Humans. HourLife distills its core idea into key insights and practical actions worth trying.
Put every appointment in your calendar — Ask your partner for the dates of her upcoming prenatal appointments and scans. Add them to your own calendar with an alert the day before, and clear your work diary for the ones you can make.
About five minutes. The HourLife summary distills We're Pregnant!: The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook into its core idea, 9 community insights, and 9 practical actions you can apply right away.
One idea from one book and one small habit from another, every week or once a month, on the day and around the hour you pick, where you are. Nothing else, and one link stops it.
Print it, pin it, post it. Ways to take We're Pregnant!: The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook off the screen and into the world.
The core idea, key takeaways, and how to apply We're Pregnant!: The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook, as one clean, readable page.
Read summaryEvery action from this page as a printable to-do list, with a 7-day tracker.
Download PDFA shareable card with the book and its top-voted insight, for saving or posting.
The summary card and every quote card in six sizes: Instagram feed, Story, Pinterest, YouTube thumbnail, phone wallpaper, and link preview.
Save the insights that land, build the habits that stick, and keep what you learn from We're Pregnant!: The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook working long after you close the page — inside HourLife.
